In many ways my time in the Missouri Independence Mission was wonderful. In many ways it was also very hard. First the wonderful.
As always, the very best part was the people. President and Sister Love radiated love and good will for all of us, and led and taught us well. Every other week we would have a Senior MIssionary potluck, where all of us “oldies” got together to eat, chat, have fun, and even learn a bit. There were poets, farmers, skilled party leaders, not so skilled but fun activity leaders, a few goofballs, and many many very warm, genuine friends. The Single Sister Missionaries would also get together frequently to party and support each other. I so enjoyed all the missionaries' company and support!
The people of the Santa Fe Ward were also wonderful. So warm and welcoming and always ready with a warm hug and kiss on the cheek. I wonder if it is even possible for them to change (the kissing and hugging)? I love them all! And many of the people we visited, members and investigators, became good friends.
And the church history! Last summer I was able to take a trip to Nauvoo - just wonderful! And I had the chance to visit many (but not nearly enough) of the sites around Independence. I look forward to seeing the rest, especially Hans Mill, where my great great great Grandmother, Amanda Barns Smith lost her husband and son, and miraculously healed her other son.
But it was also hard. I struggled learning Spanish, even though I studied usually at least a couple of hours a day. I still don’t feel like I’m all that much better than when I started the mission. How well I was able to communicate had a great deal to do with 1. Sleep 2. Nutrition (Fast Sundays were hard!) and 3. Time (talking etc. - the brain just tires out and runs out of energy so much more easily now!) Therefore, I struggled to communicate my thoughts, feelings, and testimony, and even to understand sometimes.
The cultural and individual differences between myself and my companion (who grew up in Guatemala) could also be a challenge. She is a “visiter” and talker, and loved to visit all the older members of the ward and stay talking for an hour or two. I am many things, but NOT one to stay and chat for hours (especially in Spanish, given #3 above) . And she was not a confident driver, and so could only go to a couple of member’s houses alone (which she could do while I exercised and studied). Sometimes I felt like a taxi driver and not much more. I was more into trying to find and visit (briefly) the less active members, which she found very uncomfortable and tried to avoid. She was very good at just talking to random people at the store though, and was led by the Spirit to do (and have us as a companionship do) many good things. It took a great deal of compromise on both our parts for things to work out, and a realization on my part that, for at least a time, perhaps this mission was a time for her to shine and for me to support.
I WAS able to teach an intermediate Spanish class, which was a lot of fun, and I think I was able to do some good but.for many reasons (snow that always seemed to come on our class night, building closed for cleaning, natural attrition, and the fact that it’s really hard to see improvement in that middle ground and make the jump to fluent - believe me, I know!), it didn’t feel particularly successful. I also volunteered to play piano for primary, and the occasional baptism, but I’m not that good of a player and was always glad when a better player was available. So for months I would attend the temple almost every week and pray to know what the Lord wanted me to DO on this mission of mine. And every week there didn’t seem to be an answer.
Now to the blessings. The Spanish class I taught let me feel close to some of the members of my ward, even when I struggled sometimes to feel truly connected, especially on “hard language” days.
My piano struggles were actually a blessing - the primary chorister was a novice to both primary and to music, so seeing me struggle but keep trying helped increase her confidence. And I had one Sister Missionary (who was actually probably a better player than me) tell me that seeing me struggle helped her realize that people just appreciate what you are able to offer, and helped her have the confidence to serve, even when her offering wasn’t perfect. So… even though I wasn’t able to play in a way that inspired enthusiastic enjoyment and admiration… maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing after all.
And those prayers in the temple? Finally, shortly before the untimely end of my mission, I suddenly had the thought to ask, “Is what I am doing what YOU want me to do? Is it pleasing to Thee?” and a sudden rush of the Spirit told me, “Ahhh… now that… THAT is the right question!” And I knew that even though it wasn’t exactly how I would have wanted it to go, it WAS how HE wanted it. And therefore, I can say that I had a VERY successful mission! (And I’m still hoping to go back - right now I am on temporary “on leave” status).
Finally - the icing on the cake. For the week to ten days after the church closed down meetings but before we were released to go home (a VERY sad day!), there was this…
I hope that you are all well and safe. Know that the Lord loves you and I love you!
With much love,
Sister (Now Kim, at least temporarily) Nielson
Comments
Post a Comment